A smart man thinks before he Leaps!!!!

chinese proverbs---

Always remember----

Bike Monkey-- Man who scratches butt should not bite fingernails.

D'lish-- When the tiger comes down from the mountain to the plains, it is bullied by the dogs.

Kipedelin-- A fall into a ditch makes you wiser.

Keep your weather ... and keep your pants on!

Hey you people in the middle of the country... keep your weather out of Colorado. It snowed overnight and this morning - it is currently raining and trying to hail, but I am hoping the radar will help push it out before I ride 54 minutes from now. If not, I am going to spin in circles in the gym - I hope the basketball coach doesn't mind the tire marks.

Bikemonkey: Please change your moniker to a more appropriate descriptor. How about Bikebaboon? - they are the ones with the funky butt, right? It looks like you found the 25 pounds I lost - who needs a chamois in your cycling shorts when you got that posterior? When Selle Italia says "gel saddle", they mean the gel is in your saddle - not your butt.

Kipedalin': As a great philosopher once said, you have to be the change you wish to see in the world. In other words, a lot of talk will improve your ability to talk. Confucius say, put some woolly clothes on and ride, you sis.

LaMoney: I saw Nancy Reagan the other day and we discussed how involved you are. Her advice: Just say "no". Don't be afraid -- it is simple and just one syllable (similar to the grunts bikemonkey and kipedalin' use when they are calling each other names).

Congratulations to Kelly and Hayley! Doing their part to keep diaper companies making a profit.

It's A Boy

KJ had a son (another, lucky dog). He was born early am on the 12th of April, 2007. You know he is going to be a great one, being as his date of birth includes the 07. Kade Owen is his name, 8lbs 10 oz, 21 in long, and has dark hair. And from what I hear he is beautiful, must take after his cousin Kipedalin'. Congrats KJ, tell the wife we love her and are proud of her. As for the rest of you, enough sitting on your butts reading this, get out on the bike. That includes you Mr. always writing a paper, tree devouring, Armstrong wanna be. Are you sure your going to be able to handle the new batch of emotionally unstable adolescents your getting ready to take on. You will probably need some therapy of your own, that's what the bike is for. I hear there putting on a Saving the World Seminar at Century II. Don't forget all us reliable nut cases during your new venture.
Bikemonkey...I don't know Buttmonkey looks to be more appropriate. Where do you store your bananas???
And you the Zen Buddhist; the sun will rise again tomorrow quit gawking at it as if it's oh so therapeutic. Next thing you'll be admiring the way the grass flows in the gentle winds of the ancestors. There is a new book out called-- Cyclism Plain & Simple: The Practice of pedaling, right now, every day. The first truth is Duhka, which resembles a out-of-kilter wheel, keep that bike tuned up. To see is to know, to know is one with the truth.

Kipedalin'

Tip for today

When all is said and done and Kipedelin has exhausted all of his vaginal jokes, there will only be the reality of pain and suffering by those who think that cycling is something that can be conquered in a few short months. I will walk you through these tough times and give you the advice needed to overcome your weekness. L$ don't worry about the lack of mileage you are putting in. The sag vehicle will pick you up starting at mile 20. D-lish, there will be plenty of trees to hug while you are gasping for air and trying to get your heart rate down at mile 30. Kipedelin, I assure you that there will be refreshments at all the stops so that you can load up although you will have to bring your own tweenkies and ho ho's fat body. I know you all cannot look like this but it may give you motivation in hopes of someday you can achieve a chiseled physique such as this. Tell me how the tips work for you and how you fit it into your dismal training schedules. Enjoy "Slackers".

TRAINING TIPS FROM THE PRO'S

While sorting through some old training tapes and numerous awards for cycling, I came across a training tip pictorial that I made for the Discovery Channel. Lance had asked me how he could remain comfortable in the saddle with only one testicle, and use less energy while maintaining speed both on the flats and while climbing big hills. I thought I might share these tips with you all since you all suck and need every little bit of help you can get. Enjoy and please let me know if I can help with anything else. In order to get the sequence to view properly please go to your individual emails and open the power point presentation. Best of luck and I will see you all very soon.

Vaginal bleeding taking over

Oh boy, here we go freezing rain and snow and the next thing you know bikemonkey is afraid to get out and roll. The only growth I see that needs removed is the growing of tears that you continue to shed to your plastic surgeon. You know, the one you see on a regular basis for follow ups to your sex change. You better double check the estrogen levels your consuming, seems to me there is a lot of crying going on. Are we going to have to make feminine stops during the ride? Do you need me to bring along a make-up kit to touch up any runs from the tears you will be shedding? Calgon---Take me away is probably your new moto. You might want to check into some transsexual shaving cream, so as not to tip off any one at work....D-lish is there any environmentally safe creams he should be checking into? La$ can you please coach Bikemonkey through this tough transition.

Who's your Daddy
Kipedalin'

Kipedalin has a vision of Aug 25, 2007

Click on the picture to get the full effect.

This is the vision I received last night. Looks like my suspicions were confirmed as to how I will have to pull you girls along.

Kipedalin'

Digits?

Where you at boyeez?

113 - Total miles for the past week with two off days ... I also rearranged the bedroom, saved an old lady from an out of control trash truck, camped out in an old growth forest to deter logging, cut my toenails, played trucks and princesses with the kids, discussed my wife's eternal headache, shaved, and contemplated the meaning of life. And you think you're busy?