It may feel as if you are the only one here. That's due to your own, how do you say, lackluster attempt at cycling over all. Your feeble attempts at cycling remind me of that last turd swirling around the porcelain disposing chamber. You know the one that spins around and around and around until finally the water goes down and it disappears into the dark abyss. You think its gone when suddenly it pops back into view as the water refills. You think to yourself, "damn it, now I have to perform a re-flush." In your case you are the turd on a bike and I'm flushing for one last time. Bye Bye little turd (there goes bikemonkey off the back).
The true story is that the only thing you could keep alive is the gap between you and the leaders. The only reason you have been able to keep active posting on the blog is your daily addiction to saddlesoregaycyclists.com. We all know you get bored during that 5 minutes of refueling your limp worn out repugnant yogurt flinging kangaroo pounder.
As for now take your little juice pills, go out and enjoy the blowing you get from mother nature, enjoy your tea party attempts at group rides. The truth is you suck, you have always sucked, and you will continue to suck no matter how hard you train. I'm happy to be the one to break it to you that you were actually born a girl. Wee-flicky there was an after thought sewn on by some shroomed out surgeon.
Kipedalin'
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Although In-A-Tub will be on our jerseys, it sadly should not be in our bellies.
When riding in Hell, do as the.......
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Although In-A-Tub will be on our jerseys, it sadly should not be in our bellies.
1 comment:
Wow! Big words spoken from such a small infantesimal man. I hope you can back that up tripod because I am hauling the mail my friend. The next time we race together, I will pull long and hard to get you to the front and stretch out the field for you so you at least have a shot at second. Kind of like you do on the group rides looking at Ryan's ass. Just before I drop you and the rest of the field on the last lap, I will give you the words of wisdom that will haunt you the rest of your days as a cyclist "Suck it heimey", as you feel the vaccuum of my acceleration, remember that I am, was, and always will be a great cyclist and the mere fact that I have to fight to get back to my original form is only a short lived formality and next season you will see the rageing speed of the former cyclist known as bikemonkey. My new name will be "damn that guy can haul ass". I will have to find a way to shorten that but you get the message! Keep up the good work but remember if your not first your last!
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